New Students

This past week has brought Green Acre High three new exchange students.  They are identical triplets who have reportedly never been apart from each other.  Their names are Jessica who is blind, Jennifer who is deaf, and Justine who is mute.  Now obviously these are not their defining qualities but since Justine is incapable of speech and Jennifer is self conscious about her voice this is really all we know about them.  Jessica tends to do the talking for all three of them.  The three girls are tall, blonde and tend to dress very well always in matching outfits.  These new young ladies have quickly used their good looks to climb to the top of the popularity ladder.  Justine was recently named captain of the debate team which is incredible since she's only been a member for three days.  It is even more incredible when you realize she can not speak.  She does however have a record of one win zero losses in debates. 

Our debate team was going up against our rival school Sun Breeze High School. (Just a quick reminder here don't forget about your mandatory daily hour of rage against Sun Breeze High School) Sun Breeze sent out their best debater, a boy named Michael something or other it doesn't matter now, and we proudly sent out Justine.  Michael was first to have the floor and he fought valiantly.  He gestured violently and shouted and swore and slammed his fists on the podium.  You know, debate stuff.  In the middle of his routine he glanced over at Justine who was looking directly at him.  He seemed unable to avert his gaze, nor was he able to continue his rant.  So they stood their for a few moments transfixed with each other.  Then, slowly, ever so slowly, Justine opened her mouth.  Her jaw hung in an almost cartoonish position.  Michael was still unable to look away.  Eventually, a sound left Justine's throat.  It was not a voice, that is to be certain.  At least not the voice of a sixteen year old girl like Justine.  It was more of a rattle.  Like the death rattle of some small animal in the grasp of a much larger beast.  A last plea for mercy.  Was she mocking Michael?  Saying that, 'I am the predator and you are my prey'?  So much was said without any words spoken.

Anyway, while everyone in the crowd was watching Justine, something had begun to happen to Michael.  He had stopped moving for one thing.  While he was hypnotized by Justine's gaze he was immobile for the most part but he was at least breathing.  Now, that too appeared to have stopped.  Justine closed her mouth and confidently walked off stage to her sisters who were sitting nearby in the crowd.  Michael's hair began to fall off of his head in large clumps as if it was never attached.  Once this was noticed, his coach ran up to check on him.  He attempted to put a hand on his shoulder but it went right through like attempting to lean on a sandcastle.  Michael's body appeared to collapse into tiny grain size bits right in front of everyone.  Even his blood was not wet but dry and grainy.  After a few seconds of silence, Justine got an uproarious standing ovation from the home town crowd for her amazing debate performance.  And Justine I do not know if you read the school paper but if you do let me just say good show! 

A Wooden Door In A Metal Shop

Apparently, there was quite a shock on Wednesday when Mr. Jacobs, the metal shop teacher, entered his classroom on that particular morning.  Standing in the dead center of the room tall and majestically was a wooden door.  It seemed rather large compared to the all of the other doors in the school and had some sort of hieroglyphs carved into it that nobody in school could make heads or tails out of.  Even our wonderful Principal Michaels took a look at the carving and simply said, "This is not of this Earth," and walked out of the room.  He's such a kidder.

The metal shop room itself has never had any desks in it.  In stead, it has large, solid wooden tables with metal cabinets beneath so students can store their tools and projects in them.  Each table weighs between 100 and 200 pounds and is bolted to the floor.  The door was standing where one of the tables once stood.  The table was moved several yards across the room, along with all of the other tables as if the door landed from above and the tables were blown back in the blast.  There is also a frame around the door.  The frame appears to be what is holding it in place although it is unclear as to which side it opens from.  The door knob, a solid gold knob with a snake or snake like being wrapped around it, has a key hole in it.  The most common theory is that the reason no one can open the door is because it is simply locked.  Personally I do not understand why so many people are so fascinated with opening a door with nothing inside.

Mr. Jacobs assigned new seating with the tables in the new positions and the door as a new permanent fixture of his classroom.  The class was mostly a normal metal shop class until the end of the day.  Reportedly, Jeremy Bauer was the last student to leave.  My how I hate him.  Anyway, you know that old expression 'last one out shut the door.' Well stupid, stupid Jeremy forgot to get the door so he stepped back into the dark room if only for a moment.  He was alone aside from the door towering over him.  He felt compelled to approach the door.  Just as he was about to walk away, he heard a faint buzzing that seemed to originate from the door itself!  Jeremy pressed his ear against the cold wood.  It was not buzzing at all.  It was screaming.  Constant, unending screaming.  He yanked his head back in fear but before he could leave, he saw a small trail of light coming from the keyhole.  Jeremy looked behind the door to be sure it was still in this plane of existence.  The light did not come through on this side of the door but then again, there was no keyhole on this side of the door knob.  Jeremy worked up his courage one more time, knelt down in front of the door knob, and looked inside.  He was found the next day.  He has not spoken since.  What he saw was so unbelievable, so awful, so other-worldly that it robbed him of his essence, of his being but was not quite kind enough to rob him of his life.  What a drama queen.

Extra Curricular Activities

Well, the first few days of the new school year have passed about as well as can be expected.  The new clicks have been formed and old friends have rediscovered why they had such great relationships in the first place.  But there are others.  The outcasts, the nobodys, the losers, the liars, the bastards, the thieves, the cynicists, the pessimists, and those that do not believe in anything.  You know the types of people I mean.  People like Jeremy Bauer... God how I hate you Jeremy.  Anyway, that is neither here nor there.  The reason I am bringing this up is because if you feel like you just don't fit in, then maybe what you need is an after school activity.  Tomorrow, Principal Michaels is throwing a school fair to show off some off Green Acre High's clubs and other extra curricular activities.  Like the school paper for example.  Unfortunately for you loyal readers, your favorite journalist R.C. will not be able to attend.  With over three years on the paper's staff, I get all the juiciest stories and it keeps me very busy.  In fact I can't quite remember the last time I left this old unused classroom that we turned into a makeshift office.  And who's "we"?

I'm sorry readers I seemed to have lost my train of thought for a few moments there.  I'm sure you don't care about my problems; you want to know what to expect from the school fair.  Well all of your old favorites will be there, "The Gaming Club", "The Club For The Collectors of Various Things", and the debate team.  There are also a couple of new clubs that have popped up this year.  One that I would keep my eye on is "The Mystery Club".  I have spoken to several of the members of the club and many of the club meetings seem to mainly consist of telling difficult riddles and trying to solve hypothetical murder scenarios.  It all sounds like terrifically grim fun to me.  The most recent murder scene was a hypothetical discussion on how to get away with murdering fellow club member Jesse Pinks.  At first Mr. Pinks was uncomfortable with the situation but when he began hearing the ridiculous deaths he was being put through, he soon began to join in on the fun.

The other cl- Forgive me readers for leaving that sentence fragment in front of this one.  I know it is an eye sore and the journalist inside of me is screaming for making such an obvious grammatical error but due to what just happened it feels appropriate.  I just received an email notification on my phone from one of my sources in the school.  Apparently Jesse Pinks did not show up for school today nor did he call in sick.  Just as I was writing this article about this man, he vanishes.  Well, I'm sure he will be in tomorrow.  If not perhaps this is a job for "The Mystery Club".

A New Beggining

It's a new year here at Green Acres High and that means a new batch of freshman that need our warm, attentive, guiding hands in order to ease their transition into high school.  I am calling on my fellow seniors along with the Green Acres High juniors and sophomores to be a little extra polite to this year's freshman class.  After all, high school can be a scary place.

Just like every year at Green Acres High, Principal Michaels got the first day started off with a bang; and by that, I of course mean the annual Pep Rally.  Last year's student council President Harriet Lawler began the event.  Perfect, beautiful Harriet.  Her long, blonde hair blowing from a breeze that came from an undetermined source.  Harriet said that she would, once again be running for student council President and hoped for some friendly competition as opposed to last year when she ran unopposed, at least after her running mate Larry Floyd mysteriously disappeared.  Harriet received a standing ovation and there was not a dry eye in the house.  She then introduced Principal Michaels who kept his speech short and sweet.  He spoke in a calm monotone with no discernable expression on his face, "I am timeless.  I am literally a place without time.  You are so far beneath me you cannot even fathom it.  I am a broken clock-tower and you are the ants that circle below."  He then walked away from the podium which ended the rally.

In other news, Tuesday was bring your pet to school day for Mrs. Clayton's freshman algebra class.  I could not tell you what bringing dozens of animals to school grounds has to do with algebra, but we just have to have faith in the almighty Principal Michaels.  Most of the pets were nothing special.  Not to say that they were not particularly attractive or kind, they just did not do much to stand out from the crowd.  There were several dogs, a few cats, and even a bird or two.  By far the most interesting pet cropped up in Mrs. Clayton's sixteenth period class.  Jennifer Martinez stood proudly in front of the class holding a small bird cage.  Inside the cage was a being unlike any other; and really how do you describe something unlike anything else?  It was constantly moving, but when I say that I do not mean it moved around the cage.  It stayed in one spot but twisted and writhed and never held one shape for more than a moment.  Being a senior, I was not in the classroom at the time and am only describing what I have heard through second-hand reports.  Some students describe the creature as black while others say it is not black but without color and light and shade entirely.  Almost like a living black hole.  If it is living at all.  It was named Fluffy.  More on these stories as they develop...